Hospital-Drunk Ramblings

I know. We're still waiting for a surgery date. Current estimation is sometime in May. Anyway, onto the practicalities and nitty gritty. I started writing this months ago but haven't been able or willing to touch it until now. It's been difficult to make myself get out of bed for much lately, between depression and physical tiredness. Things that have to happen prior to surgery: Yet another pre-surgery appointment Packing to temporarily move back to my parents' house for recovery Praying I don't burn through my savings as I've taken a leave of absence from my job I have to not go crazy waiting or fall prey to the doom thoughts while I slowly decline. I'm taking even more breaks when walking now and I'm basically acting like I will die during surgery cause the anxiety's so bad some days. Things I want to happen prior to surgery: IV sweater sewing and creation of a new recovery pillow Vancoufur and seeing friends right before surgery A miracle of scien...

Optimism before staring down the IV drip for me is making plans for afterwards and not pulling the trigger on doing absolutely everything before surgery.            I don't have a date for surgery yet, but the urge to get more tattoos, buy things, learn random skills, start new projects and generally be impulsive doesn't care. It's hard. I've had to cut work down, and already that means I have to cut back on spending, but having to do that when the impulse to buy things is at its highest has been a test of discipline vs a brain already primed to give in to temptation. Hilariously, the weirdest impulse I've been having to deal with is getting a new job or making money, or dumping money into my resume making business and general writing. Fact is, I've already done that a little, but the urge to do more is tantalizing. Picking up more work is beyond tempting, but I have school to focus on, if it weren't for the fact I'm crawling the walls searching for fo...

 So, when's the operation?                I saw Dr. Andrew Campbell, the surgeon who's going to be operating on me for the second time in my life, back in December. The long and the short of that appointment is that I've chosen to undergo surgery sooner rather than later, knowing all the risks and that doing surgery now vs waiting another year or more means my next surgery after this one will be sooner as well. In terms of actual dates, we're looking at early March, which I'm going to request is going to actually be mid-March, as there is no way I'm missing Vancoufur. I'm planning on running a writing panel there as well as performing in the variety show yet again. I also want to use Vancoufur as time to see my friends again right before surgery and let them know in-person, when I can, about when my surgery is. I'll get told about a month in advance when my surgery date is going to be, so February sometime. I've sent Dr. Campbell's assis...

  What’s with the “drunk” stuff? Well, Drunk off Heart Condition came from a friend who tried to explain why I wasn’t drinking at his birthday party held at a bar. He tried to say something to the effect of “can’t drink cause of a heart condition” but somehow managed the phrase “drunk off heart condition”. He suggested I use it as my poet/writing name, and I took it on. I didn’t know how to feel about it at first, but it has certainly grown on me. I like that it has a story, short as it is. I consider it a gifted name, and it’s certainly one I wouldn’t have thought up on my own. The reason for the title of “Hospital-Drunk Ramblings” is because I started it sitting in St. Paul’s Hospital’s ER department after having some cardiac symptoms. I wrote my first post while getting intermittently interrupted by hospital staff taking vitals or blood. It felt appropriate, considering the moniker I’ve decided to officially take on. I actually have been using it for a while. I’ve perform...

If I ever publish, I want it to be in this font. I adore Crimson Text. Anyways, onto IHOP. If you ever see me posting IHOP or some variation of the pancake stack emoji or waffle, this means I’ve had heart symptoms that are bad enough that I either need to go to the ER, or I’m already there. This is due to previous experiences at the establishment. Let’s go back. I used to attend a monthly group called Hearts of Gold, which is a group of teenagers with heart problems who meet up and do various activities together. One time we did a haunted tour of Vancouver, complete with jump scare. I remember remarking on that trip that whoever planned that didn’t really think it through, but hey, this was the same group where I started the tradition of taking a group photo in front of the Playland ride warning sign saying not to go on the rides if you had heart issues. One event was having lunch at IHOP then going on to do something else, honestly I don’t remember what. It was a lovely sunny ...